Monday, March 16, 2009

I've Been Sick

On Thursday afternoon I started feeling a little crummy. Crummy quickly progressed to dizzy, shaky, achy and worse. Unfortunately much of it happened while I was trying to do errands. I somehow managed to get my two younger kids and I through a quick shopping trip around 9pm, after finishing everything I had to do and taking some ibuprofen. I was getting the FLU! Whenever I am sick Jason rarely covers my share of the work. He will hardly take care of the kids and will absolutely not take care of the chores- dishes, cleaning. SOMETIMES he will make dinner when I feel like I am dying. Most of the time he doesn't take my illnesses seriously. He acts like I am faking it or something. It really really angers me.
But Jason came home from school on Thursday...and he was getting sick too!! Same thing- same symptoms only a few hours behind me. When Jason is sick not only does the world revolve around him (which it does on a regular basis) but it's like he is the only person left in the world. The only people who matter when he is sick are the ones who want to take care of him.
So much for help. Jason slept all day Friday, all day Saturday, all day Sunday.
From a chair, under a blanket, I watched my house go to ruin. I allowed my daughter free reign of the kitchen and she took it with pleasure and even happily supplied her brother with whatever she was having. I did manage to make some frozen pizza on Saturday during a pain outage, thanks to loads of ibuprofen. I don't keep horrible things at home and any leftover Halloween candy we have is completely out of their reach so they weren't eating too bad. Just lots of sandwiches. I felt awful about not being able to do much but I could barely function even while under the influence of painkillers. Messes were made and not cleaned up. I'm NEVER going to catch up with what went wrong- it's just too much and I know Jason will never step in to help out.
Monday came and I wasn't feeling better. Jason seemed to be because the night before he stayed up until some ungodly hour of the morning. So of course while I was dying and watching ANOTHER child, he was enjoying a wonderful beauty sleep at 1pm. So here is sick sick Alex trying to take care of Zachary, Amara, Jonas AND our friend(long story about Zachary being there) while perfectly fine Jason is resting his eyes. I was hating him. I complained on and off about the lack of help (knowing it would do nothing but not being able to shut up about it all) and he said the dumbest thing ever: "I don't know why you're still sick. I'm better" This from the jerk who SLEPT ALL WEEKEND. I didn't get to sleep. I had to take care of the children during all waking hours because someone else wouldn't wake up to help a little.
Tuesday I was STILL sick and was showing some signs of getting better but not much. The night before I told him that I had a meeting with the school at 10am and could only take Zachary, that he needed to get the kids ready while I was gone because I had to leave immediately when I got home to take them to preschool. I told him how important it was that he was up and that I could NOT take the other kids. At 9:15 I tried waking him up and he just turned his alarm off and went right back to sleep. So I spent 10 minutes trying to get him up and had to deal with him telling me to shut up and go away. Then he really made me mad and said that no matter what I did he was just going to go back to sleep after I left. So I completely flipped out (still sick as hell) and started giving Amara and Jonas a bath so that I could go straight from there to preschool. While I am giving them their bath I burst into tears because of the stress of the meeting I was about to be late for, how he was treating me. Finally I had them completely ready but didn't have time to get them breakfast and he actually got up. So I left with Zachary and we were only 3 minutes late. Our meeting was done in time for me to pick the kids up and get them to preschool on time so everything went well. My throat had been hurting bad during this whole sickness but I had been ignoring it because of everything else being worse. While I was out I decided to actually look at my throat so when I was sitting in the car getting ready to drop the girls off I checked it out and it really surprised me. My throat was as red as blood (still is). No spots or anything but it was really swollen.
The weekend was really nice but Tuesday afternoon it was starting to get a little cold- cold enough to need the heat. So I tried to turn it on and it wouldn't work! I thought it was just being stubborn but the evening came around and it still wasn't working. So I went from starting to get better to going back to my original state. I was so cold and couldn't find a way to get warm. Our bedroom has different heat so we didn't have to worry about sleeping but I didn't want to make everyone spend the evening in there. Plus the kids weren't minding it at all- just me. So the blanket went back around me while I trudged through the house and tried to do something. I made a crappy dinner of saltines and Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup and added some carrots to it. Then I made some hot chocolate to cheer everyone up and keep me warm. But those were the longest 5 hours of my life.
Finally when it was time for bed I had all of the kids sleep with me since it was the only warm room in the house. Zachary's bedroom was the coldest. I put a space heater in the bathroom so that it would be tolerable in the morning. I took my ibuprofen so I could sleep and off to bed we went.
Today I am finally well enough to catch up a little here on Gather and check some e-mail. Not much else will get done on the computer today. I missed Gather!! I have been living in a fog of painkillers and pain and tons of water the last few days and I am glad to be back. I don't think I have ever been this sick before. The flu, the sore throat (worst sore throat ever, for sure- worse than strep), the absolute need for water like I've never needed water before and then this morning I woke up with pain in my right breast and there is a lump there. I am pretty sure it is mastitis or at least a clogged milk duct and I really hope it is nothing worse. I've had mastitis once before and it felt just like this. But talk about pouring, ya know.
One good thing is that today out of nowhere our heat came back on. Of course it happened while it was 70 degrees out but it is supposed to get cold again tonight so I am glad it works again.

So, what's new with everyone else? And thank you if you made it through this whole thing!

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